I would like to share about my wife's noble character using a Strengths-Lens.
Proverbs 31 Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Empathy: The most significant good Yvonne brought to me is Empathy. I was raised in a highly dysfunctional family that did not allow feelings to thrive. Every family member must be Man-enough to settle his own life. I learn to fend for myself as a child because no one really cares whether you live or die. Yvonne patiently nurtures my feelings and allows my feelings to flow more naturally.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
Input: She really brings food from afar! If you can get to ask Yvonne, she would tell you that I can have a whole season of my life eating just one type of food for dinner - 宫保鸡丁. She is just my opposite. She can travel afar just to buy any food she reads about that is highly recommended. Otherwise, I would never bother to buy and taste such good food.
15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
Consistency: She treats people fairly regardless of their social status. One great example is uncle Aziz, a cleaner in my housing estate. During the festive season, she will remind me to give him a 'gift'. She also intentionally spends time with a young widow and treats her with dignity and love.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
Adaptability: Well, Yvonne does not deal with property, trading and fashion industries. But she is very adaptable. Before she married me, she couldn't cook and she was what we called the 'kuniang' - soft, gentle and fragile. I usually read people very accurately but not this time. The first year she married me, it was a major transition in my life; switching from a career I had for 11 years. Immediately followed by my young baby boy who needed to go for a major operation. Waves after waves of challenging moments through our marriage, she adapted so well and grew stronger and stronger. Now, I may be more 'kuniang' than her - I hope not!
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
Developer: She loves to help the under-privilege 'level up as much as possible; uncle Aziz the cleaner, a widow who stays 2 blocks away, cleaner aunty in her former workplace, guiding kids whose parents were in prison, missionaries she supported for about 15 years, etc. Not forgetting her persistent care for my elder son due to his GDD.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
Restorative + Harmony: Though she did not fix any problems that are related to snow (Singapore is in the equatorial regions), she does fix lots of relational problems. She is a natural mediator in the family, in her workplace and in her social circles.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
Responsibility: It is amazing how she gets her energy to take ownership of so many things. Wakes up at 5.30am for her workout, and then settles the family breakfast. For the next 10 hours, stretching herself to ensure the school is running well. Once she returns home, she is always spending meaningful time with the children before she burns midnight oil for her work again. And she occasionally also needs to handle the 'big boy'; me.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
Positivity: I have lived with a life of storm since birth and I am pretty comfortable with it. Before she married me, she hardly went through storms. Then I welcomed her into my 'life of storms'. Wow, she made it! She has put to practice a Sunday School song - With Christ in the Vessel, we can Smile at the Storm.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Belief: She fears the Lord. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting - btw she is still very pretty. But what makes her more beautiful is her fear for the Lord.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Yes, I am now honouring my beloved wife, Yvonne Lim.
